Wednesday 19 August 2009

The not-so-great unwashed

I'm not a person particularly given to washing too frequently, but there are limits. We have numerous unwashed and generally stinking customers, some of whom are regulars, some of whom are shoplifters (sadly these are mostly drug addicts and alcoholics), and some of whom are disabled in which case they are exonerated from perdition due to it being no fault of their own. This kind of goes for old people too. There's one old man, a frequent browser and occasional purchaser, who smells like death. I don't mean that in a comparative sense, I mean it in a literal sense.

The crux of this post.

Due to the above, I expect to have to spray the shop periodically with perfume or air freshener (products normally abhorrent to myself), especially after a visit from one of the above. Yesterday I checked the fitting room for hangers after a suspicious-looking female tried on two pairs of trousers and a blouse (I couldn't tell if she'd come out with the same number of items as she'd gone in with). No hangers, but a powerful and inhuman smell pervaded the cubby. A quick squirt of 'clean linen', no problem.

About half an hour later, one of my volunteers comes into the office grimacing, gingerly holding a pair of urine-soaked jeans out at arms length. She said she'd smelt wee by the trouser rail and then found them on the floor. My suspicions about the woman were confirmed. The swap job is a common phenomenon, finding that some nice person has taken an item of ours and left their own minging trousers/tshirt/jumper in its place, but usually we are at least spared this much! At least I can recognise her next time and bar her. Often I'm not so lucky!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I havn't laughed that hard in so long. I'm 18 on a gap year blah blah and volunteering in a charity shop for some experience what with the current lack of jobs etc etc.

I've been told to spray the shop with air freshener every hour and a half or so. I was doing so last week, when a women comes up to me, throws her bag on the floor and says, " Excuse me, but i do not smell, and you are insulting me and the other customers by spraying that around me, I want you to stop right now and then maybe I won't tell your manager". She stank by the way, I just said that its because of a broken air con and a small door. She then stole a cushion and a tea pot.

Sophie Millward Shoults said...

Haha, I hear you! Had a man in just today reeking of pee. How do these people not notice it? Oh well, I epect she went home, sat on the cushion and had a lovely time drinking tea out of her new contraband teapot.